Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I party with great urgency now.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
