what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
How external is "for external use only"?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
