Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just found puke in my bra..
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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