Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
