yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
