the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
