these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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