Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

yo im tryna cop a beej tonight

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.

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(862): View more from New Jersey

Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside

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(480): View more from Arizona

i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....

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(845): View more from New York

I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me

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(647): View more from Ontario

YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS

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(319): View more from Iowa

FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before

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