I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I think a kid would responsible me up
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
