Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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