I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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