All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
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