I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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