i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
