Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
worst night to have a conscience
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
