Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
It's rum buckets o'clock
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
