If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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