and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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