ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I think I am morally bankrupt
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
