we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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