I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Randomize
