I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
