would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize