Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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