Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
