So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
