it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
