my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
