My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
