You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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