@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
