glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
