Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
