I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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