Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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