Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
