Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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