And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
