with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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