ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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