Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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