I am puke
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You are a genius and a whore.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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