Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
