I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
