no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
wow bdsm is so cute
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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