If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
