did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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