his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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