Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
