5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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