he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I currently don't understand fingers.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
