Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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