What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
